“I bought this phone... it's the manufacturer's latest innovation,” “Have you seen my new shirt? It's the last shout, "I want sports shoes from this particular brand"... The scene of teenagers flaunting their clothes, mobile phones, or glasses seems familiar, as if it is an integral part of their own identity.
The young people of yesterday no longer accept that their parents choose Rather, they are the ones who choose them because they know what they want and what suits them in their view, and what they need, and the unifying sentence between most of them when they object to their families: “This is old fashion, I want to be in fashion like my colleagues.”
Fashion does not It is not limited to clothes, but also includes phones, smart tablets, iPads and other technological products that sweep the world of teenagers as well as the world of adults. Is this behavior common to most teens worrisome? And when is a teenager extravagant?
It is well known that adolescents go through physical and psychological changes that worry them, and the overwhelming desire to buy may be one of the means that may help them control the feelings of anxiety and stress that they experience at this stage. But is this reason enough? Should his wishes be fulfilled, whatever they are?
Adolescent psychologists believe that the adolescent's interest in external appearances is positive, indicating that he has become somewhat sensitive about his social relationships outside the family environment, and is no longer withdrawn into himself, as he is going through a transitional phase and has begun to abandon his childhood. That his identity was not defined in childhood, he searches for it and works to define and reveal it. The constant desire to buy clothes, a computer, or a mobile phone expresses compensation in the psychological development of the adolescent, who finds in consumption a form of reassurance, as well as a way to show the difference and distinction of generations, declaring his belonging to a group of friends. He has technological products, building a social network that makes him feel that he is a successful person and loved not only by his family, but also by society.
The group of friends
It is also known that the teenager adheres to the standards of the group of friends, and perhaps caring about his appearance is one of the means through which he seeks to attract their attention and win their love, as language and behavior are no longer the only criteria for belonging to the group of friends, but also shopping habits have become The means - the key to their own world, with the aim of highlighting the distance between generations.
This is a good thing, and parents should respect and reinforce it. There is a distance between her and her mother, but respect for this structure between generations is also for parents to allow themselves to say no, and this is not a punishment but rather a limit that the teenager needs, and it means that the parents are not supposed to fulfill all his requests. Every family has specific material capabilities, concepts and traditions.
How should the parents react to the shopping of their teenage son or daughter?
When the teenager returns home after a day of shopping, he often shows his parents what he bought, and the parents may not like his purchases, so how often do we hear the mother say: Isn't it You have the same shirt, why not buy a different design or color? The reaction of the teenager is either to defend his choice or it is the fashion, such as this shirt is different in the details, or he simply says that is what I want, I will not wear according to your style. On the other hand, parents may congratulate their son or daughter for their choice. In any case, here are some tips that parents can follow when their child is shopping alone:
Reacting carefully
It is necessary for parents to understand the link between the teenager's sense of independence and his choice to spend. When they give him money for shopping, they must respect the way he spends it. Is it worth the mother and daughter to enter into a sterile quarrel, if the daughter, for example, is proud of buying a pair of shoes at a great price, even if the mother knows that she can get it at a lower price by shopping online? Of course not, but the mother can advise her that she can search the internet in the hope that she will find a better price.
Thinking first, then reacting
The mother noticed her daughter's haste and recklessness in spending, so she must control her reaction and think about the reason that led her daughter to rush to spend, then choose the appropriate time to discuss with her the strategy of resisting the pressure of friends if the mother thinks that The price of integration into the coterie is the irrational spending of her daughter. Giving the teenager more freedom in other areas may reduce his need for rebellion, of which spending is one form. Some teenagers spend recklessly just to prove their freedom, which provokes parents.
Exchanging Parents' Experiences
Teenagers show that they are not interested in their parents' experiences, but the opposite is true. Sometimes they listen and learn from the mistakes parents make and the victories they achieve. For example, the father can mention how he bought a phone with high-quality technologies, how he got the best deal, and how he is excited to use his applications and photograph the most beautiful moments with his son.
Praise is justified
When the daughter returns and she is happy that she got the sports watch she wanted for months, but she waited for the discount season, and she is glad that she got a good deal, the mother should praise her for her patience, and for waiting for the right moment. The approval and blessing of the parents has a positive impact on the adolescent, even if he does not verbally acknowledge that, and positive reinforcement can be a strong incentive for positive behavior in the future.
Showing interest in what the teenager bought and learning from it
Shopping the latest technology may be an unfamiliar area for parents, but the teenager can introduce them to it, for example, he can talk to his father about the details of the iPhone he buys. A teen can also excel at helping his or her mom or dad find cool new products, restaurants, stores and online retailers, who offer great discounts.
Using money as a lesson, not a message
When discussing with teens about how to spend money, parents should stay away from provocative phrases that evoke a teenager's sense of shame and incompetence.
Instead of blaming him harshly for buying a phone at double the price, and that he spent a lot And he has to be economical in his spending because money is the basis in life. They have to warn him against rushing to buy, and that if he made a mistake this time in assessing the issue, then this is a sufficient lesson for him to be careful in his purchases next time, as this happens with everyone, especially the adults.
When does the desire to shop turn into an addiction?
Shopping addiction is one of the major problems that contemporary societies suffer from, given the temptations in the markets, in addition to the role of the media in advertising everything that stimulates the appetite for shopping.
But no. It must be noted that there is a difference between the desire to shop and its addiction. It is natural for one of us to shop for a happy occasion or even once a month to feel renewed, such as buying clothes according to seasonal fashion. Shopping here is for celebration and self-pampering, if you will.
In the case of addiction, the characteristics of a shopping addict in general are as follows:
How can an addicted teenager be dealt with?
It is necessary to distinguish between the habit of shopping and its addiction. Therefore, the adolescent's behavior must be monitored to verify whether it is just a habit or an addiction. If the teenager applies the characteristics of addiction, then the parents should consult a psychologist.
Sometimes a teenager tends to shop for fashion whose style his parents don't like. Why?
First of all, parents should realize that the fashion style or line is a personal matter, and they should remember their personal history when they were in their teenage years, did they wear clothes that fit their parents' taste? Weren't they following the fashion lines of their generation at the time? Didn't they feel angry when their parents resented the clothes they were buying! The teenager wants fashion that his family may not like for these reasons:
Why does a teenager sometimes spend more than his family's financial capacity?
In most cases, teenagers who are thirsty for shopping do not realize their parents' actual salaries, but rather think that their parents' money is often multiplied money without limits.
This is a fundamental problem in the development of Therefore, pocket money is a good way to make him assume responsibility. If the daily money is not enough to save from it, then at least it contributes to the growth of his awareness of the value of things. For example, you need four months of pocket money to get an iPad. This makes him think well. in the money. Parents also have an essential role in the process of spending resulting from shopping. It is preferable, even if the parents are financially able, to urge their teenage son to think about his purchases.
Does he really need it, or does he want this thing because his friends bought it, or because it is newer? For example, does he want a new phone because his old phone is no longer valid, or because the new phone has new applications, and will he really benefit from them, or does he just want to be a follower of technology and fashion!